Today is exactly one week since the Good Guys sank.

We just got a phone call stating the coroner has been called to the beach to recover a body.

They confirmed it is definitely either my Father in Law or his friend, but won't say which.

Both families are devastated.

I keep praying they find both of them, so our families can at least have some closure.

Half my prayer has been answered. I just wish I knew right now which half.

I feel guilty that I hope it's my Father in Law.

I have spent so much time this past week being strong for my Mother in Law, I haven't had

any time to process my grief. I spend a couple days with her and try my best to be a comfort to
her. As soon as I leave, I fall apart. I drove home again crying all the way.

This time the tears keep coming in waves, washing over me.

The big lump in my throat hurts when I try to hold the tears back.

I want to stand alone in the forest where no one can hear me and just scream as loud as I can until I get the emotions out.

My husband doesn't understand. He is irritated and short with me. I want to tell him to suck it, but instead came up here to write this and get it off my chest.

Everyone deals with grief differently. I am a take charge kind of gal when I need to be, and when I feel safe and am alone, I let my sadness out.


I am tired, physically and emotionally, so I will not continue the topic of my husband's demeanor towards me.

I'm just sad, and exhausted and wish somebody would offer to hug me for a change.

I'll update you all more when we get word who it is was found today.

It's also the 11th, and I usually have my christmas cards mailed early. I thought about it today, and I don't feel like sending any this year.

I am not feeling very "christmasy". I don't feel like wasting time signing my name to an impersonal card, nor do I possess the strength to say how I really feel this year. I hope that those that love me will understand why their pile of cards is just a little smaller this year.