For 34 years my husband blamed God

for giving him an abusive, mentally ill family.

For 11 of those years my Mom prayed every day for him.

We met at Starbucks 3 years ago

to discuss the terms of our decision to divorce.

He was too angry and bitter to continue to live with.

Instead of discussing toasters and child support,

we discussed how God has a plan for us,

that I believed he was going to use this moment

for HIS purposes.

I was loving and kind to the man who was breaking my heart.

It was out of character for me.

The real me would have been bitter, angry and vindictive.

But I had been praying for days before our meeting.

God gave me peace and the right words to say,

they definitely were not my words.

After about an hour of my telling him that he needed to

let go of his anger and trust God,

he said he wanted to go talk to my Pastor.

I canceled my appointment with my attorney,

and I watched my husband give his life to God instead.

Fast forward 3 years.

My husband is a living example of what God can do in a life.

He is not the angry bitter man I used to know.

He reads his bible and prays everyday.

He has a kindness in his eyes that wasn't there before.

He told me about a month ago that he felt God

pushing him to the mission field.

Monday we went to the first meeting.

We are going to Thailand for 3 weeks in November.

We will be with a team of about 20 people,

teaching English as a second language,

at the same time we are sharing God's love for them.

In the farthest jungle areas of Thailand,

almost to Cambodia and Laos, in Isaan province.

Why? Because people are so poor there,

they get desperate and sell their daughters and sons

to the sex slave industry for the equivalent of $600-800.

But if they believe their child has value

because they can read and write in english

they might grow up and get a job in Bangkok

and send money to the family.

The children will have more value in the eyes of parents

who have literally nothing but rice to eat most days

and a thatch roof hut with a dirt floor.

Our pastor has been going for 10 years straight.

We work in conjunction with other missionaries.

The children there are hungry to learn anything American.

I have always been terrified of flying in planes,

but deep down my biggest fear is that my husband

will want to go into missions full time.

3 other families from our church are currently in Africa

teaching in a school in Malawi.

I feel guilty and ungrateful that I feel that way.

But if God leads us in that direction,

I'll be blogging from Thailand and posting Thai soup recipes,

because it's my job to support my husband,

and when God answers our prayers,

you're not supposed to complain about the reply.